killerik - Why the hell not?

As of 5:08am eastern time, canned corned beef was the #11 best-selling "gourmet meat" and Slim Jims were #20. Everything else in the top 24 is either from Omaha Steaks, or Whitecastle microwavable burgers(I'm assuming that those can be classified as "gourmet" because the characters in that one movie really liked them).

Here are some pictures. Click them for a much larger view.

I always find it odd how Amazon.com categorizes their items.

Related article: Jane Jetson office workers

Posted by Erik at 4:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

I was browsing through amazon.com's office top sellers and stumbled upon something pretty odd.

You can still see it on the top sellers list, but it'll most likely change soon. So here's a screen-shot(click for full-sized version):

Where is this magical office that has everyone dress up like old Hanna-Barbera cartoons? I want an application.

Posted by Erik at 5:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

First off, who knew that everyone's favorite "wacky"/"eccentric" neighbor was a closet racist? Not me, but everyone at the Laugh Factory found out first hand.

WARNING: The content in this video may be offensive and also even more damaging than the "Seinfeld Curse".

Please remember that this is Michael Richards of Seinfeld, not Keith Richards of the living dead fame.
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Did you know how expensive batteries are before the tremendous discounts that stores give you? Try over $700,000. Found this over at Digg.

I've captured a screenshot, in the event that Amazon changes the price.

Click on picture for a larger view.
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And last, but not a cliché...

I've recently found a pretty sweet band. They're called "Elizabeth and the Catapult". I bought their EP and was impressed by what I heard. If you like women that play the piano and some clever wordplay in your lyrics, check them out. It's a little Fiona Appleish, but I'd say a little less dark. You can go to their website and listen to some of their tracks. I purchased the EP through iTunes because that was the only place that I could find it in stock. I burnt a CD from it and it hasn't left my car's player yet.

Posted by Erik at 11:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Time for some more strange products, which I've found and taken pictures of.

First off is something that every girl-about-town needs, a refillable pregnancy test. Why waste all of your hard earned cash(after pimp-tax) on one pregnancy test, after another? Just buy the reusable stick and save your cash for the alcohol you'll need to forget all about who you've just had unprotected sex with(if you need this product, you probably have trouble remembering their names in the first place).

"God, just grant me this one prayer for the 247th last time."

I'm sorry to anyone that may need to buy this because they're trying to conceive and buying test can get a bit expensive. Your situation is just not as funny.

Ever lose your remote control? I'm sure that you have.

Fret no longer. There is no way that you could misplace this remote. The picture may not give you a sense of scale, but I estimate that this monster is about 14 inches tall by about 6 inches wide.

"Where's Johnny? Check under the remote."

Personally, I think that this is a good idea. Well, until you give one to your grandfather and he goes delusional. You really don't want to give confused people heavy artillery, such as this. He'll probably bash his nurse in the head and make a run for it. When that happens, at least you'll be able to take comfort in the fact that he has his jumbo remote as a companion.

My last item isn't really odd. It's actually quite normal. It's a digital picture machine putting out that familiar "Blue Screen of Death" that has plagued many a computer user.

"Your pictures have caused a fatal boredom error."

Posted by Erik at 9:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Continuing from the last posting of somewhat odd products, I give you the latest offering.

Ever want to smell like a car race and didn't know how to achieve this feat(short of pouring gasoline on yourself)? Well, now you're in luck. Daytona 500 in a bottle:

"With subtle hints of burning rubber and spilled beer."

I've never seen another sporting event have its own mass-marketed cologne. The NBA, MLB, NHL, and NFL need to tap this market. Obviously, people will buy anything.

I'm sure that most of you have been to a gas station. If so, then you've probably witnessed their hot dogs rolling around and staying fresh and tasty, or not. Bring home the excitement of rolling hot dogs with:

"Wow" indeed.

I also captured a rare image of the beast outside of its box-like residence:

You know that you can't resist touching its knobs. Go ahead, do it. I can't stop staring at your milky white complexion, and your striped awning. I love you, hot-dog-roller-grill-thing! Sorry, I need a moment.

While we're on the subject of gas station paraphernalia...

Drinking out of the gas pump isn't recommended. It contains gasoline. You can't drink gasoline.

Time to change your way of thinking. Gas pumps are for drinking out of:

Just fill this up with your favorite beverage and off you go. But please teach the children that they should never sip from the nozzle of an actual gas pump. Gas is expensive, and you shouldn't waste your money quenching the thirst of children.

Posted by Erik at 9:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Ever walk down the aisle at your local Shop-mart™®© and come upon a product that was somewhat odd? Ever wonder about who would actually buy such a thing? Well, I wouldn't. I just like to take pictures of them and post them on the web. That's probably worse than buying them.

Love cook-outs? Like Pop-Tarts? Well, we have the product for you.

The hot dog toaster!

"Now You Can Enjoy Hot, Tasty Hot Dogs ANYTIME!"

Yum!

It seems like a huge waste of shelf space, right? Wrong. It's hot dog goodness at the press of a switch.

Speaking of hair care products...

I present to you "Dr. Miracle's Hot Gro 'Feel It' Formula". Nope, it's not a new erectile dysfunction medication. It's a scalp treatment. Just rub it on your head and it'll grow.

Your hair.

From the product's website:

And I quote(loosely)...
"'Feel It' Formula's tingling sensation supports strong growing..."
" Stimulates blood flow to the... helping to end slow growth problems."

Awesome!

Posted by Erik at 6:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (23) | TrackBacks (0)

Ever wonder what people are searching for when they stumble upon a website? No? Well, I'll give you a couple of examples, from this site, anyway.

First up is "scientology summer camp". This is a new search from just yesterday.

To start off, summer is almost over. You should have been looking into this well before the end of August. Even if you get your kid into this camp, he/she will most likely not have enough time to bond with the other kids. This means mucho swirlies, purple nurples, indian sunburns, and innumerable things drawn on your poor child's face while they sleep.

Also, do you really want your kid to be forced to sign a billion year contract to make little trinkets that'll be sold to revamp the Church of Scientology's Celebrity Center?

The second search is quite possibly a bit more odd: "can listerine be used as a douche".

I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. With that said, I'm guessing that's a big N-O.

All I know is that Listerine burns the hell out of my mouth on a daily basis. I don't even want to imagine the pain that would be brought forth when used as a feminine hygene product. I guess that the upside would be a minty-fresh crotchal region.

Oh, by the way, have you met the tampon lady from a couple of posts down? You'd be fast friends.

Speaking of searches...

If you want to know what people have searched for on AOL, check out Something Awful's three part exposé here (Possibly NSFW): Part 1
|Part 2|Part 3

Posted by Erik at 6:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

While at work last night, a very Barbieish woman came into the store to speak with the pharmacist. She had breast implants, lip injections(i don't know who finds that attractive), botox. She probably went into the cosmetic surgeon and asked for the works. She also had a surprise in her purse. Stop reading now if you get easily grossed out. I don't need anyone sending me a bill for a thrown-up on keyboard.

In her purse she had a one week fermented, used tampon. It was blackish and gross. She pulled it out and presented it to the pharmacist. I guess that she wanted advice on a feminine problem. She ended up buying a douche.

I really just felt the need to pass along this disgusting story. I don't like to be the only one with these disturbing images in my head.

Make sure that you buy these new, as if there should be any other option:

P.S. My spellchecker offered up "bot ox" to replace "botox". I found that funny. I'm off to google "bot ox".

Posted by Erik at 7:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)