killerik - Why the hell not?

Ever wonder what people are searching for when they stumble upon a website? No? Well, I'll give you a couple of examples, from this site, anyway.

First up is "scientology summer camp". This is a new search from just yesterday.

To start off, summer is almost over. You should have been looking into this well before the end of August. Even if you get your kid into this camp, he/she will most likely not have enough time to bond with the other kids. This means mucho swirlies, purple nurples, indian sunburns, and innumerable things drawn on your poor child's face while they sleep.

Also, do you really want your kid to be forced to sign a billion year contract to make little trinkets that'll be sold to revamp the Church of Scientology's Celebrity Center?

The second search is quite possibly a bit more odd: "can listerine be used as a douche".

I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. With that said, I'm guessing that's a big N-O.

All I know is that Listerine burns the hell out of my mouth on a daily basis. I don't even want to imagine the pain that would be brought forth when used as a feminine hygene product. I guess that the upside would be a minty-fresh crotchal region.

Oh, by the way, have you met the tampon lady from a couple of posts down? You'd be fast friends.

Speaking of searches...

If you want to know what people have searched for on AOL, check out Something Awful's three part exposé here (Possibly NSFW): Part 1
|Part 2|Part 3

Posted by Erik at 6:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

After my first post of two optical illusions, I decided to search the web for a few more. Here are the results. None of these have anything that jumps out at you after staring at it for a certain amount of time. No worries there.

#1 makes you see a black and white picture as if it were in color.

The second one looks like it's moving, but it's not.

And finally one from YouTube. You don't really need to make this full-screen, but it may work a little better that way.

Just for some reference: The wikipedia page on optical illusions. There are a few good ones there too.

Posted by Erik at 5:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

While at work last night, a very Barbieish woman came into the store to speak with the pharmacist. She had breast implants, lip injections(i don't know who finds that attractive), botox. She probably went into the cosmetic surgeon and asked for the works. She also had a surprise in her purse. Stop reading now if you get easily grossed out. I don't need anyone sending me a bill for a thrown-up on keyboard.

In her purse she had a one week fermented, used tampon. It was blackish and gross. She pulled it out and presented it to the pharmacist. I guess that she wanted advice on a feminine problem. She ended up buying a douche.

I really just felt the need to pass along this disgusting story. I don't like to be the only one with these disturbing images in my head.

Make sure that you buy these new, as if there should be any other option:

P.S. My spellchecker offered up "bot ox" to replace "botox". I found that funny. I'm off to google "bot ox".

Posted by Erik at 7:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

To get America's supreme gold-digger off of the top of my website; I offer you this link to a very fun video posted by Chad at Plan 4:

Check it out

Posted by Erik at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

K-Fed performing live at the Teen Choice Awards:

Why are the people in the crowd cheering for this? Why, God, why?!?? I hope that no one buys this douche's cd when it comes out.

Remember when Britney was the hottest thing out there? Not so much anymore. So sad. K-Fed, you've already ruined at least one person's life, not to mention your kids. Please, please, please go away. I'm begging you. Join the Peace Corps, or something. Just go far away. I'll pitch in a carton of Newports to the "Get K-Fed off of My TV Fund". If anyone has a couple of extra "wife-beaters", or some 40s, they would be a boon to the cause.

Popozao!

Posted by Erik at 5:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Today, while watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, I thought about how much time I would waste of my life just watching a 24 hour(a la CNN) comedy news network(also CNN).

I already like to keep up on the latest news, but how much more captivating would it be to get a bit of humor attached to it?

I always hear about how mis/uninformed the American public is in the area of politics. Maybe all they need is a spoonful of sugar(humor) to help the medicine(news) go down. [I don't know why I used the parentheses there to let you know what I was referring to. I think that it was pretty obvious. Sorry for underestimating your intelligence.]{Sorry for those too.}

Once you get a more educated public, you may also get a higher voter turnout. This could potentially nullify the extremes of our two party system from being the ones in power. I do believe that, when it comes down to it, our nation is a majority of moderates. Sure there are issues that people will swing to the right or left, but on most, we see eye to eye.

So, someone get on this straight away. Just don't forget to mail me my royalty checks. This way I can accumulate wealth, gain power, and rule the world. What a nice little plan.

Just some YouTube to round this out...

Don't block my tubes.

Posted by Erik at 12:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I've got a couple of eye-screweruppers for you. I'm not really certain that they classify as an illusion, or not? But I do know that the effects are odd.

I can't remember where I found these, but they've been in my bookmarks for at least a year.

First stare at this one for about 30 seconds and then look at anything else. It'll give you a melty/swirly effect on whatever you see.

Effect #1

The second one is even more fun.

Just read the instructions and off you go. Just be warned that this one lasted on me for over a week the first time that I tried it. Attempt it at your own risk.

Effect #2

Enjoy.

Posted by Erik at 1:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Recommendation time.

V for Vendetta is an absolutely stunning movie. It has a thought-provoking story and is visually amazing. Everyone should check it out. I'm not going to get too into it, as I don't want to spoil the plot for anyone.

The only complaint that I had was the sound. I had to crank up the volume whenever V would speak from behind his mask.

Here's the link to the DVD:

I bought this version from BestBuy. It came with a little Guy Fawkes mask and some artwork.

Some of you may not know, but it was adapted from a graphic novel which you can find here:

I haven't read it yet, but I'm picking it up right now. It's always fun to see what from the original didn't make it into the movie.

Posted by Erik at 1:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Here's a video to enjoy on this very hot day.

One of my favorite Conan moments.

Stolen from Best Week Ever.

Posted by Erik at 8:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)